Whiskey Lullaby
by ayera
Summary: Based on Brad Paisley's Whiskey lullaby. OOC and Future fic.  And IF you have problem with suicide, DO NOT READ! Contains character death!


Yeah, a new story from the norwegian. Still trying :)

So yeah, this is a very sad story and I actually cried writing it. And it's probably full of spelling ang fragment things so if anyone wants to beta, please do so!

**And IF you have problem with suicide, DO NOT READ! Contains character death**

Inspired by the beautfull Whisky Lulllaby sung by Brad Paisley ( my version he does anyway)

Enjoy!

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><p>Life was never kind to Bella after that night when he put her out like the end of a midnight cigarette. She was forced to re live that night over and over again like some cruel punishment every time she went to sleep. Or passed out. The last one was most common these days. But she couldn't remember what she had done or said.<p>

He had broke her heart! Punched a hole through her chest and left her to drown in her own screams. And he said that he never would, that he never would leave her and that they would spend every day of forever together. The fact was that he left and she tried to find answers to all the questions at the bottom of her bottle with jack. She spent the rest of her young life trying to forget his beautiful face, that face that was as chiseled from marble.

After everything that was said and done she couldn't face her father. Not her mother or friends and especially one little pixie elf; Alice. She reminded her of everything she never wanted to think about, never wanted to feel. So she had moved out into a tiny apartment in Seattle and in the start she actually had a job and she tried. Tried so very hard to make it through a day, but in the end she couldn't even walk outside without hearing him murmuring loving words or see him in the corner of her eye. Eventually she would just stay in her rocking chair by the window all day - never eating and hardly sleeping. Only a dark shadow of the once beautiful, vibrant girl was left cradling her last bottle of whiskey. Whispered confessions of love and soft caresses filled her diluted mind these days and she was never sober enough to touch back down into reality and never wanting to either forget or remember him.

The cool metal felt nice against her fevered head and she traced the outline of his angelic face as it was right in front of her , she heard him whisper "_I will love you until the day I die my beautiful Bella"_ and felt his breath wash over her. As a quite tear rolled down her face she whispered to his fading smile "_I did always love you.. Until the day I died."_ and in her last desperate moment, pulled the trigger and had finally got him of her mind.

The morning lay gray and cold over the water when the shrill of phone broke the utter silence of my appartment. I do not remember much of that day they told me they had found her with her face down in the pillow, clutching a note "I will love you 'till the day I'll die." or of the day they laid her underneath our willow tree. A place where words of love and secret dreams where whispered, not a place where tears soaked the ground.

My feet had brought me here, underneath the willow and the weight on my shoulders tore me down to all fours and I am grasping the grass with all my strenght._" It has been 365 days since you left me…"_ I said as I hauled my body up to sit next to the tree. I wanted to scream at her! I wanted to be mad and angry because she went and did something so utterly stupid. But in the end I was the one to blame as it was me who had driven her over the edge. I unscrewed my 2nd whiskey bottle of the day and took a big gulp, embracing the fiery sensation as it glided down my throat. _"Usually I hide this from everyone love_" I whispered as tears started to blur my vision. "_But I can't do this anymore. This pretending! That I'll never being whole!_" Now the tears were flowing freely as I could taste them on my tongue as gasped I for air. "_You know, I never spoke to them after that day I found out."_

I had cut all contact with my family that day after the funeral. I couldn't face their accusing eyes or the sound of my sisters sobs as they buried some of their hearts with Bella. I had deserved the beating my brother had given me and the ice cold look my brother in law sendt my way when he had to wrap his strong arms around the shaking frame of Alice, now only a sister by blood and not by heart. But the wrath of Rosalie had been the worst; the silence. She slapped me once and uttered the very true three small words. "You killed her" and "it's your fault!".

I told Bella everything. All the things I regretted and wished I could have taken back. That my carrier was never this important! That she was the love of my life and I had thrown it away for nothing! That I had been so caught up in my own ego and pleasure that I was never capable to see the pain I inflicted on those I claimed to love.

I was nauseated by myself and as I tried to drink away her memory I could see her there so clearly. Sitting beside me on grass and she stroked my hair and wearing that beautiful blue dress I once had bought her for her birthday. Her chocolate brown hair was like silk as I lifted my hand to touch it and her deep brown eyes held so much love. Love I never had been worthy of. _"I promised to love you until the day I died_" she whispered and kissed my knuckles as I brushed her cheek. "_You did my love and I never really stopped loving you. Not really."_ I took up the picture of us taken on graduation from college. We had been so happy and so carefree and so utterly in love. I kissed it and clutched it in my hand and whispered to her _"I know life is short but this time it is bigger than the strength I have to get up off my knees. I really loved you and only you until the day I died too. You were my one and only love. I love you more than my own life."_

The cool metal felt nice against my fevered head and I traced the outline of her beautiful face as it was right in front of me. I heard her whisper _"I will love you until the day I die my Edward"_ and in my last desperate moment I finally drank away her memory.

I found him there, curled up next to her headstone clinging to her picture. I had known before I had found him- that he was gone too. It's a part of being a twin I guess but I knew he finally had peace. He had tried to hide the whiskey on his breath the few times I had seen him the last year and he was only a shadow of the golden boy he once were back in the days. And I had hated him. I poured all of my loss of a best friend and a sister into him and I blamed him. I never knew how much he blamed himself. It drove him over the edge at last.

We buried him next to her underneath the willow were they once whispered words of love and of promise of a brighter forever.


End file.
